Welcome

We've all got problems. That guy in Bangladesh has to choose between food and shelter. I have to choose between still and sparkling.

This blog isn't about which problem is more important; it's about deciding what to say to the waiter. Because I have to tell him something--otherwise he'll keep standing at my table instead of bringing me my macaroni and cheese with truffle oil.

Don't judge. Just help me decide so I don't go hungry.